April 11th, 2001 @ 4:59PM
// You found \\
// Penny Royals' Devious Nook \\
Why is it that the day will be going great, then turn for the worst? Why do I let every little detail of my life get to me. Why must I be the most two faced person to ever live? Why do I feel more dead than alive? Why do I think for about was to hurt myself, then ways to better myself?
See, you are sitting here reading this saying "but your only 16, things will get better." I can just hear everyone I know wispering it into my ear. Thing is, as much as you may think you know what its like, you will never understand. Life is good now, but who knows... It always changes when I least expect it.
April 5th, 2001 @ 1:10PM
Some of you may know me from aol as ciraz, my friends may know me as alex, but it doesnt matter. Now you all know me as pennyroyal, named after the song by Nirvana.
Reciently i've been depressed, and i dont know why. lately life has sucked hardcore. Every day is a mirror image of the last, and it sucks. I really wasn't sure what to do, and yet suicide seemed like the only answer. People say that talking with friends and family about your problems may help out the situation so I called my girlfriend and we had a long talk about everything and it totally turned me around. What a great feeling. One of the best and worst parts of like is being a teeager. Its great because you are in highschool, and have alot of great friends, and expierences with them. If that was the extent of it I would be happy. Thing is, being a teenager also has many disadvantages. Many disapointments. Im very moody, very tired, and often thought about how I could hurt or kill myself. At the moment I'm feeling good, but who knows, when I least expect it, something always happens...
